Hi anon, so sorry this ask got lost in between private messages- huge apologies for the delay in responding! I’m not sure why it scares you so much, only you have the answer to that one! What I can say is, just because you don’t spend every minute together anymore, does NOT mean that she doesn’t love you or want to be with you…she might just be needing more interaction with different people in her life which is totally healthy and normal and I would really encourage you to try and do the same thing! I hear you when you say you don’t have many people…but is there at least one other friend or family member you could commit to spending some time with? The more you can focus on spending your time with others and seeing how that benefits you the more you will come to understand it. My guess is it’s having a really negative impact on you because she is off doing different things with other people but you are not. If you could spend some of your time with others, instead of wishing you could just spend all your time with your girlfriend and worrying about what she is up to, it won’t effect you so much. Who knows it might even strengthen your relationship and make the time you do spend with your girlfriend even better!! Quality over quantity I say :) <3
I personally have never seen a healthy relationship where two people spend every minute, of every day together only. It just doesn’t seem to work…as human beings we need different things from different people, one person can’t be everything for us. The fact you live together means she already spends the majority of her time with you, and so she should…that is fine and a sign of a beautiful, strong connection and relationship but she also needs time with her girlfriends or work mates or uni buddies or her family too…they provide her with something different to a romantic relationship, it doesn’t at ALL take away from what you two have.
I would also encourage you to TALK to her…tell her how you are feeling and let her reassure you! Good luck!! <3
At the moment I am reading “Women who run with the wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estes and it is brilliant! Highly recommend it! :) <3
continued…to use myself as an example, what I’ve realised I’m most passionate about - and by that I mean leaves me buzzing on a high - is being involved in finding solutions in people lives. I also like to plan & organise. That’s why I can be as passionate about working in retail as I am about Psychology. Ironic given this conversation, but I also think id enjoy career advising or business coaching. I love to empower people, whether it’s with skills, information, or killer outfits. ;) Follow your heart x
Thank you my beautiful Byron bay babe! <3 I am going to go and draw a big fat mind map and write out all the things I am passionate about DOING…the process not the outcome because I have been soooo outcome focused lately it’s ridiculous! I’ve lost complete sight of the process and lost all enjoyment for the process because the outcome has been the primary goal. Thank you for the spark of inspiration! You are amazingly helpful as always <3 Love you <3
you have a submit box! I was writing in your ask and didn’t have enough space to write everything I wanted to. thank you for having this open. I don’t know if you can respond to this, but that’s ok, as long as I can talk to you about it. I am glad I was on tumblr when your post appeared on the dash. I felt like you read my soul or journal even :), and was talking about me when you wrote that. I 110% relate to what u wrote. It makes me feel good to know that I’m not alone in this internal struggle.
Although I’m sorry you’re going through all that. I don’t want to sound selfish and make this all about myself. But you really hit a chord with me. I’m 24 and I feel like I haven’t even reached whatever I thought I was going to reach.
As a kid (even now) I believed I would be somebody great and that I was/am destined for something great. I never knew what it was I just felt like I was meant for something that everyone else around me wasn’t capable of (i know that sounds selfish, but I whatever! lol).
But on the contrary, it seems like EVERYONE has found their nitch and is doing their great thing while I’m still not doing any of my “dreams” or “world changing visions.” I know that sounds insane, but I just believe I’m destined for something. Although my current situation says otherwise and I’m not in the best situation in life right now, the belief that I will, is very much alive. I don’t know if I’m living on false hope, but something within me is pulling at something. Like I believe you will too. We’re both just in that “I SUCK AT LIFE” and “I probably don’t have a purpose after all” stage. I truly don’t feel like I’m living up to my potential at all!! It makes me feel defeated most days. The only way I’ve handled these thoughts is something in me keeps believing I’m meant for something great, it’s hard to explain, but even at my darkest days of hopelessness something in me just keeps me knowing my greatest is still yet to come. I don’t even know what does it, but it feels like something I can’t even explain. It’s like another me is in there that knows something the current me doesn’t!
Sorry, I know that’s probably not encouraging at all. But I really wanted to write to you, I’ve felt alone in this for a long time, thinking I was the only one, but seeing your post has made me feel some relief that another like me is out there.
Thank you for writing that, and i’m really sorry you’re having a hard time with it, but i truly believe you are in the works of doing what you’re supposed to do. Some people have small staircases to their life’s purpose and the view isn’t really amazing. I believe your staircase is leading to one of the most amazing view’s you could ever imagine. You have the ability to climb it right now, you just haven’t reached the top or seen a window in a really long time, so it’s hard to keep hope. Just know you’re destination is going to be unbelievably worth everything you put into yourself.
the-healing-nest says: I do indeed have a submit box! Technically you can’t “answer” it but I just post underneath! :)
I am so, so glad you read my post and that you resonate with it! Thanks so much for writing in and helping me too to feel less alone in it! I reckon there must be a lot more than us out there than we think!! :)
You know what….any time I hear myself say “I feel like I was born to do something great" or I hear from you guys writing in saying you feel that too or I’ve had a few that say "I don’t necessarily think I was born to do something great" I cringe SO badly at that word. I feel completely selfish and stupid and arrogant and egotistical and like I have my head in the clouds or something…but when I read your response and how you feel about it all, at first the word "great" made me cringe again but then I thought…why the hell should I be cringeing….EVERYONE is born to do something great, whether they know it or feel it or not, everyone’s idea of what "great" means is completely individual but EVERYONE has a purpose and everyone has unique gifts to offer the world. For some people that feeling might be stronger, some people might be more sensitive and more aware of it…but I believe it’s universal.
When I listen to someone else say they feel like they were born to make a difference I get excited and think “HECK YEAH! YOU GO GIRL! You go out there and use your unique talents, your special qualities and you go make that difference that no one else in the world could possibly make in the same way as YOU can.” The last thing I think is that it’s selfish. I wish more people believed in their potential. I wish more people acknowledged the feeling or desire to help the world…imagine how beautiful and inspirational this world could be! I think too many of us get put down by others around us or by our own selves for dreaming too big. We get laughed at or ridiculed for believing we could actually make a difference! I think we need to embrace it and support each other in achieving our biggest, wildest dreams. I think we need to allow each other to reach our full potential and not pull each other down and it has to start with believing in ourselves. We gotta try not to ridicule and tear ourselves down when we have the thought that we can make a contribution to this world in some way. It’s so easy to believe we are worthless and have no purpose because then we never have to try or fail.
And as good old Steve Jobs put it… “The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”
You are a special, unique being and therefore you WILL make a special, unique difference! Go get em! Try let your heart guide the way, not your mind (easier said than done I know!) <3 <3