I LOVE YOU! Thank you so much! xoxoxoxoxox
Aw thank you beautiful! xoxoxox
Thank you darling, I just re-read that last anon comment, how it said “so instead of posts focusing on what u are fighting, u have posts that are generally uplifting that will help anyone”. What you’ve said is exactly what I always thought and believed, that sharing some of MY struggles will help others regardless of if they are “ed” related or not, we can be inspired by each others healing, whatever form that takes…but apparently some people think I shouldn’t be so selfish as to “focus on what I am fighting” on this blog. I know it’s not meant in a malicious way i’m just in such a grumpy mood today I can’t be bothered with it. It’s hit a nerve. I love you, thank you for the reassurance xoxoxoxoxox
Sobbing into my hoodie in her couch in Denver I said, “I hate my body. And my body hates me. My body is my biggest enemy.”
With her usual kind-hearted patience Carolyn said, “I think I have the opposite experience. When I feel really sick, I feel extremely aware of how hard my body is working, how hard it is fighting to keep me alive. On my worst days I feel so much love and gratitude for each and every cell of my body working to pull me through.”"
Aw thank you gorgeous, I am glad you think of me as a friend. That is what I hoped this blog was but I don’t know that message got to me a bit which is silly because it was only one persons opinion. Thank you for taking the time to let me know you didn’t mind it! I really appreciate it! I hope you are having a beautiful Tuesday :) xxxxxxxxx
I am SOOOOO sorry this message slipped through without me seeing it until now. I am so terribly sorry I didn’t reply to this the night you sent it, whenever that was! I really hope you managed to keep yourself safe…and if you didn’t you are trying to pick yourself back up and keep yourself safe from here forward.
I am pretty sure you know of all the ‘typical’ things I could tell you to use as a distraction so I wont go into them but what I will say is PLEASE, try and focus on all the good in you, focus on all the wonderful things you are doing with your life or have done with your life, try to remind yourself of the things you like about yourself, remember all the nice things you have done for people, the times you have made someone smile or laugh, the times your hugs have soothed someones pain, the times you have made someone feel like the most special person in the world, the times you have helped save someone else from hurting themselves.
Don’t brush this off with “Well I’ve never done any of that” because that is NOT true, I don’t need to know you personally to know that is not true. You are so full of goodness, if you look for it and acknowledge it…how could you want to hurt someone so beautiful? You don’t want to harm or punish someone who has that much good in them, do you? Make a list of all the good in you and it will make it a lot more difficult to harm yourself…it’s when we focus on all the “bad”, the “negative”, we get in this intense self destructive cycle and focus so intently on how horrible we are, of course you will feel like hurting yourself because you have convinced yourself that you are worthless…but you are NOT worthless, if you choose to focus on the good in you and I am telling you now, there is SOOOOO much of it! You do not deserve to harm yourself, you are too precious and valuable.
Thinking of you gorgeous girl xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Thanks so much beautiful. I don’t really believe in Jesus . It does mean a lot that you do and you feel this for me though so thank you! :) xoxoxoxox
That is true…that message from that anon irked me for a bit afterwards though and this does a bit too because this blog has always been here to help and support EVERYONE and it felt like as soon as I posted one personal thing about me, it was not okay. Maybe I am being oversensitive but that’s how it feels. I’ve since deleted that personal post anyway, not for that reason at all though!! Thanks lovely. I am glad you enjoy this blog :) xxxxxxxxx